How to use rating scales to promote confidence and success.

We all want to help our children grow their skills and experience the joy of accomplishing a goal. I also know I cautiously walk the line of providing feedback to my own children. It’s a balancing act of intentional parenting - trying to promote independence while supporting and guiding our kiddos is the right direction.

I LOVE scales. Kari Dunn Buron’s approach transformed the way I provide feedback in therapy and the way I provide feedback at home. You can check out her book, The Incredible 5 Point Scale, here .

Here’s what I love about it. Social skills are complex. What is right in one social situation (like whispering in the library) may be inappropriate in another (whispering while trying to ask your friend to be play with you at recess). It is valuable that we provide clear feedback to our kids to promote success. If you find yourself getting stuck in a cycle, “I need you to be quieter. That’s too loud. etc.” (we’ve all been there!), consider using a scale to describe your target behavior.

A quick volume scale may look like: 5 = outside yelling/emergency voice, 4 = recess voice, 3 = regular talking volume, 2 = quiet voice, 1 = whisper.

To promote success, you can prime before the activity. If you’re going to a small family gathering, you may inquire, “What volume do you think would be best at dinner?”. You can foster self-awareness, “Hey, what number do you think your volume is?” You can provide kind, specific feedback, “We’re pretty close and inside, can you turn your volume from a 4 to a 2?”

If you have a specific social skill you are working on, consider how a scale may help clarify and promote its successful implementation.

For more questions about tips or strategies, please call or email!

Best,

Mallory